Why So Many Women Get Turned On By “Consensual Non-Consent” Sex Fantasies
Simply put, consensual non-consent is a (controversial) style of BDSM play that generally involves two individuals who agree to behave in a manner that imitates non-consensual behavior. Examples of this include: one person pretending to kidnap, torture, and rape the other, or sex taking place while someone is asleep or drugged.For the purpose of this article, we’re going to focus on the former.Recently, one Reddit thread asked readers why so many women get turned on by “rape fantasies.” Surprisingly, the answers poured in by the dozens.Below, we highlight what they had to say, as well as why many of them don’t agree with the term “rape” when it comes to this unique style of kink.
What are your thoughts on what these women had to say? Sound off in the comments section!
User “mofugginpatronus.” "I've fantasied about ‘rape' for as long as I can remember. It was my first extreme fantasy and over time it changes and rewrites itself. Although I've since discovered many other kinks and fantasies, I think rape is my first and favorite and definitely my go-to when I'm looking to get off hard and fast.”
User “forkloo.” "Giving up control can be hot as f*ck. Along with how animalistic it can become. It isnt about the rape itself, its usually about the power struggle and feeling of helplessness.”
Anonymous. "Even though I'm a lot less shy now, I still like that power struggle or helplessness, but I totally did things secretly to make the guy turn animal like that because it made it so intense for me. It doesn't really qualify as rape I know because I wanted to make it happen, but as many times as he did it, I still liked to think of it as he was making me and I think he liked it that way too because it went on so long."
User “Redcarr22.” "I have one but I think the reason why I'm so turned on by it is because I have no sense of control. And for some reason it's hot to have a guy take control. Or at least that's just me."
User “Lost_Lil_Masochist.” "Pretty common. It can be awesome. For the record, kinky people don't call it ‘rape' or ‘rape fantasy.' We call it 'consensual nonconsent.’ ‘Rape' is a pretty universally awful word, and concept."
Anonymous. "I'm sure there are exceptions but generally speaking noone literally wants to be forced into sex by someone they don't know and don't trust. Giving in to sex, giving up control, it's an amazing feeling, but with someone you trust won't actually harm you. Just like any other fetish. I also like to watch men masturbate, but i don't want some guy coming up to me in the subway and whipping his junk out to fap. There are boundaries. Rules to discuss beforehand. It is in fact all consensual, even if you decide to ‘play' and pretend it's not."
User “ReyTheRed.” "Not every kinky person is as afraid of the word ‘rape' as you are. It is a rape fantasy, I don't see a reason to call the fantasy something else. When it comes to playing it out in a safe way, it is consensual nonconsent, to differentiate from a situation where someone actually doesn't consent. But it is still a rape fantasy."
Anonymous. "I like to be dominated. If at any point I feel like the experience is not within the confines of what I deem acceptable, my libido is completely turned off. So I love being dominated, bossed around and basically just someone else taking control... but all with consent.
So it's hot when it’s wanted, so really, it's not actually a big deal. If it's asked for it doesn't bear resemblance to rape. It's just relinquishing control of the situation while still being in control."
Anonymous. "From what I understand, it is extremely common. I have one, and I used to feel really bad/wrong about it, but when I looked online for others with it, I found a lot of stuff talking about how most women have one."
Anonymous. "ME ME ME. but I don't want to be the one to be I want to be the one who does if that makes sense. I mean not an actual one but I just love to force on my partner..I don't know but I do have fantasies. When I was very young (-8+)I used imagine myself 'getting raped' now it's the other way around."
User “RussiskRulett.” "Well, I wouldn't call it ‘rape', even though I would be tied up and dominated... Rape is something you have no control over, and it's against your will, and that's not what sex is about, at all."
Anonymous> "It seems to be very common and I have this fantasy as well. Honestly, I can't really explain why. Loss of control? The concept of real, actual rape is absolutely horrifying to me and maybe that is also part of it? Because the fantasy is a way for me to control that loss of control? It's safe in my head? Not sure."
User “ReyTheRed.” "A lot of women fantasize about being raped. Almost all women who have these fantasies understand that being actually raped would not be fun like their fantasies. But playing them out with a safe word can be very satisfying. This is a dangerous activity, even with a safe word, so proceed with caution if she does ask for this."
User “Orangelego.” "I'm very into the idea. Obviously you need to feel safe and safe words are a good idea in case things get a point where you aren't enjoying it. Just thought of being fucked hard and ordered around, or being used to get my boyfriend off in whatever way he wants is a massive turn on for me.
User “prvtusrnm.” "i don't like the use of the word rape, but you could call it that i guess. really aggressive, dominant sex, like i'm being used by him and he can do whatever he wants. movies make girls seem like they want it all soft and slow, but that's usually not the case. tied up, hair pulled, choking, that's what turns us on."