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The Erotic Guide

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Firedooring: The Newest Sex Trend You Need to Know About

 So, you're seeing someone, which is great. Except, things seem a little weird. For one, you've never seen her pupils because her eyes are always rolled upward when you're with her. Also, she only texts you back once a month after midnight for sexual intercourse. One time, when you asked to bring her over to a barbecue with your buddies, she laughed for five minutes straight and pointed at your face the whole time.You are being firedoored, lad. Here's what that is.


Have you ever felt like a dog barking up a tree? In the relationship between dog and tree, all interaction efforts seem to be coming from one side - that is, the dog.

Or, maybe you're more of a tree, enjoying the attention and excitement that the dog provides. Of course, being a tree, you never needed the dog around anyway. You'd be happy just living life as a self-sufficient tree.

The dynamic between dog and tree illustrates firedooring, a new trend recently added to the dating lexicon.

For those unfamiliar with the term, firedooring describes a relationship in which one side acts as sole pursuer, and the other one seems to simply enjoy being pursued. It's likely that he or she also happens to enjoy sex and temporary companionship with their pursuer.

If you're talking to someone who takes hours to text you back for idle conversation, but also has you rushing out the door in a cloud of smoke as soon as he asks you over, you're being firedoored.

You're being firedoored if a girl calls you over for sex after a breakup, but never even hits that like button when you tag her in some funnies. She probably didn't even look at the funnies!

Firedooring, in a sense, is a spin on the old adage of being wrapped around someone's finger. The difference is that there's an inherent lack of respect from the finger you're wrapping yourself around.

It's not restricted to flings, either. Even serious relationships can be hot with firedooring, as long as the attention, affection, and effort is coming exclusively from one side.

Why do people put up with this? There's that whole attraction thing that comes from playing hard to get, which is widespread and valid. Also, some people like being deprecated for a variety of psychological reasons that we won't be touching with a ten-foot long stick.

Mostly though, people put up with being firedoored because sex feels nice.

Few relationships are totally 50/50 in terms of engagement and effort. However, for a healthy relationship, having one side act like a total phantom is not acceptable. Unless deprecation happens to be your religion, in which case we respect your right to worship.

Some access to sex and companionship is better than no access at all, of course. Or is it? It's possible that the firedooring you're currently going through is stopping you from meeting someone who actually enjoys the fact that you exist and shows it accordingly.

Breaking things off with someone is rarely easy, especially when it's a non-committal fling. But, most of us tend to feel bad when we're treated badly. And, for most of us, feeling bad doesn't feel very good.

Hey, friend, don't let yourself be firedoored. Because, really, who cares about them anyway? Believe that you offer god-level sex and companionship, and that anyone who doesn't want you around all the time is probably delirious from coffee crashes, lack of sleep, and/or hardcore drugs.

Or, maybe you haven't gotten laid in a while. Going without sex for too long can get you sick, or at least super bored. If your boredom is starting to become a health risk, remember that a door on fire is better than no door at all. More importantly, keep in mind how insane that sounds.

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