I Went to a Secret Sex Club for Swingers for the First Time and This Is What Happened

For anyone not involved in the lifestyle, swinging may seem strange, intense, and overwhelming. But the truth is, the swinging community is actually rather tight-knit, welcoming, and full of regular people who have normal jobs and lead a normal life. Here, one woman was able to get a first-hand look at what a swingers’ sex club looks like, and the different types of people who attend.

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Sex club. Alex Alexander writes via Your Tango about how she and her husband attended a sex club in a suburban part of the town that they live in. Alex was surprised to learn that the majority of the people who attend these clubs are parents, teachers, nurses, and so on.

Swingers. According to Alex, people who are involved in the swinger life refer to it as “the lifestyle” and talk about it over dinner parties while their children play in another room. As surprising as it may sound, swingers are regular, everyday people just like anyone else, only with better sex lives.

Parties. "Last month, I attended an end-of-the-elementary-school-year family barbecue in my woodsy suburban neighborhood outside of Washington, D.C. Sitting with four other couples as the kids played Wii downstairs, the parents' conversations turned from second-grade teacher reputations and fourth quarter grades to the rumored "swingers" parties one community over,” writes Alex, via Your Tango.

Shocked. As this was the first time that Alex had ever heard of anything like this, she was rather shocked, yet curious at the same time. Determined to find out more about this secret life, Alex decided to attend an underground swingers club.

Club. "Tucked behind a nondescript building and a 7/11 is The Tabu Social Club in Catonsville, Maryland. Once you see the blue awning with a fancy ’T’ you know you're in the right place. I remember marveling at how their elaborate black iron gate gave the entryway an almost regal quality,” writes Alex.

Nervous. Alex admits she was a little nervous, but not as anxious as her husband was about going to the club. When they finally arrived, they were surprised to be greeted by a normal looking couple who Alex says could have just as easily owned a restaurant or gym.

Newbies. "A nice, friendly couple happily approached us and calmly began the tour as if we were checking out a model home or tourist attraction. When they suggested we start downstairs, the newbies and I followed them down a well-lit but long and narrow stairway full of fear,” writes Alex.

Orgy. Alex and her husband were prepared for anything. In their minds, they were about to walk in to a room full of people having an orgy. But because it was still early, there weren’t many people in the club yet, so things hadn’t quite taken off.

Red lights. "It was still early — 10:45 PM — and the tour began with trips to every 'room.' Theme rooms, swing rooms, voyeur rooms — you name it, there they were. Red lights above each doorway indicated what was free, and you had to schedule with the hostess,” writes Alex.

Shocked. There were also rooms that had clear windows so that people could stand outside of them and watch whatever was going on inside. Overall, Alex was shocked that the club was so legit and smoothly run.

Observation. "Couples of all ages and races gathered on the sofas near the 'observation rooms' drinking and chatting. Many greeted each other warmly, like old home week. They told me about seventy percent of club members meet up on popular swingers' websites such as Club Voodoo,” writes Alex.

Attention. What stood out the most to Alex was how people interacted with one another. People would tip the bartender with cash— or a kiss on the lips. The women were also not shy about the fact that they were interested in checking out the same sex, and Alex noticed more attention on her from the women than on her husband.

Glow sticks. "The club planned a ‘blackout' for midnight (the staff distributed glow sticks throughout the night). They assured me security would be good and nobody would grope anyone without an OK. I would have liked to stay later to see if more action happened, but my husband was anxious to go,” writes Alex.

Community. Alex says that what she took from the entire event is that the swinger community is very tight-knit. It certainly is a lifestyle, but one that is treated with respect, consent, and hospitality.

Respect. "As for the swinging and social scene? Strange, yes. Sexual? Absolutely. Sleazy? Only a few people who were so scantily dressed my head spun. Surreal? You bet. People may not understand it or condone it, but perhaps they ought to respect the choice,” writes Alex, via Your Tango.