How is the sexual life of the 20 to 50 years, well explained by them
It is clear, as we age we are more tired and lose the passion of youth. But that does not mean that sexual relations are worse, simply different. When you are 20 you feel at the peak of your sex life. You have evolved from your first relationships and you feel in good shape to practice adventurous postures, plan a good sex session, warm up the atmosphere with insinuating subiditos messages of tone, last longer in bed and let know that you are enjoying good With your groans and orgasmic screams that are almost Oscar.
But the years go by and, inevitably, we arrive at calmer sexual stages. The lingerie of the special moments is forgotten in the drawer, being perfectly shaved and neat is no longer a maxim and we lose track of when it was the last time we gave ourselves an impromptu revolt mid-morning on the sofa.
"It's totally normal for us to lose some impulsiveness to get down to work, but that does not mean that your sex life has to be worse as you get older, it could even be more ardent!"
Says the sexologist and relationship expert Terri Orbuch in 'Women's Health', where she has collected the opinions of different women about how she has changed her sex life over the years, and includes some tips to keep her active and pleasurable in the decade we are in.
At age 20
"Sex with my partner has been on the rise in recent years. Sometimes we have sex four times a week and sometimes we do it only once or not because of travel and working hours, "says Vicky C, 25.
We are young, we get excited easily and usually we are in the best physical conditions to enjoy sex. But at 20, in addition to being somewhat inexperienced, we are much more busy than we would like. Studies, work, family, friends ... They take more time than we want. "Having sex during the week is difficult, but on weekends we are ready to get into it. Usually, he takes the first step, but just by giving him a kiss longer than usual he understands that I want to subject him, "continues the young woman.
Sometimes we have sex four times a week and sometimes we do it once or not because of travel and our working hours
As Orbuch explains,
"At age twenty, many women are still sexually insecure about themselves. They are still finding out what they want and find it difficult to talk about sex and openly express what they need in bed, so they may be more likely to let the boy make the first move. "
But not all.
Time of games, many begin to be more decided and put aside adolescent muds. If they want sex, they ask:
"Now when I feel like I'm more open to tell my boyfriend 'let's do it' and tell him how to wear," confesses Katie D, 28.
The sexologist recommends practicing masturbation during these years to discover alone where and how they should touch us. Learn little by little, to put it into practice at the end of the twentieth.
At age 30
"Sex with my partner has become more adventurous and we know how to get excited quickly. He knows that if he gives me a shoulder massage I get horny right away and if I want to activate him I just have to put on some lingerie and let him hold me. If you see fit, you know we're going to have sex, "says 30-year-old Brooke W.
We get to know each other and we have several tricks up our sleeve to excite us and set the tone for the other, but lack of time is still a problem:
"I worry about not having enough time to do it, so I get anxious and sometimes I stop sex Before they begin. I feel like I have too much to do and I can not concentrate on my partner and have sex, "says Mary D, 33.
He knows that if I get a massage on the shoulders I get horny right away and if I want to activate it I just have to put on some lingerie
"This is the decade in which most women feel more comfortable to start sex, but problems such as chronic stress, complex body image or lack of sleep can affect their sexual desire, so That it is necessary to be freed of the pressures of schedules and to take care of the mental and physical health ", explains the expert.
At age 40
"What has really changed for me is my level of spontaneous desire," says Suzy O, 47,
"Before, with children and the house, I did not even think about having sex. I became anxious and we did it less often. But I realized that my relationship was suffering, so I found a way to start the meetings. "
At forty the tensions derived from the tasks and obligations that condition our schedules begin to dissipate, and our adult sex life begins.
"Now I'm much more predisposed, I know how to self-excite so that I feel like having sex and I make sure I do it at least a couple of times a week," continues Suzy.
I realized that my relationship was suffering, so I found the way I started the sexual encounters
" Most couples in their forties are divided into two groups: they can be so busy with other responsibilities as caring for children or their parents who are not able to find time to maintain relationships or even to talk to their partners About what they would like to do in bed, or settle into a comfortable situation with their partner and just start putting into practice what they have learned in all these years, which may be especially interesting to achieve intense orgasms, "explains Orbuch.
Deb W, 44, has clearly opted for the second possibility:
"I have stopped worrying so much that the lighting was perfect and I started to concentrate on what really makes me enjoy. Even if I do not have the ideal conditions - like my underwear is old and bored - I get to work to have sex, "he says.
"The only drawback is that this can end up being a bit boring,"
warns the sexology expert, who recommends introducing new elements such as sex toys, sensual massages or a simple slap in the ass that can add an exciting surprise.
"Those little signs are the easiest way to say, 'Hey! See you in the bedroom, 'even when there are a million to-do's competing for your attention, "he recommends.
How to have the best sex at any age?
"No matter what decade you are in, talking to your partner about sex, the sexual things you would like to try or what you like to do at other times can help you be more satisfied with your sex life and even get in touch while you are talking Of the subject, "advises Orbuch.
As they say, the union is strong, so it is important to train, work as a team and whenever possible "try to try new things with your partner."